Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He felt like a one man threesome
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
