I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
