just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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