Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Your penis caused this!
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
