Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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