Kiss
Puke
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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