Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
