Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
