Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Dignity is for republicans.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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