I'm eating all of the evidence.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
