We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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