Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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