did you get engaged???
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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