His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
