can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Randomize