I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
