he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
