I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
