Buhtt sex?
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
