"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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