Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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