god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
