My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
