Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
