Sry I called you an 8
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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