I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
