I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
what day is it and did you see me today?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
