what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
you told grandpa to call you daddy
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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