everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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