it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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