I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
