Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
