Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
