Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
