I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
His hands were made for my vagina.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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