you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
