halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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