So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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