Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
