Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
