i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
