i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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