Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
