And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
how drunk are you?
Several
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize