She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
The air was thick with penises
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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