you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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