There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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