what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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