Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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