WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
