what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
