Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The feeling are messing with the penis
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
