capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
a search helicopter?!
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Randomize
