You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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