Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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